Hey Santa! Reduce your carbon footprint!

The key to Santa going green is in seaweed.
The key to Santa going green is in seaweed.

A Tennessee professor has figured out how the big red jolly guy, good ole St. Nick, can reduce his carbon footprint. The magic ingredient is seaweed.

Yes, a professor has spent the time, as good humoured as it seems, to figure out how Santa could reduce his coal usage. In fact, this professor is calling on Santa to give seaweed instead of coal to children who have been naughty.

Professor Gerald Smith estimates Santa could save the Earth 5,000 tons of coal by delivering seaweed.

“Seaweed is green, natural, wholly organic, and decomposes without harmful residue.” said Smith. “It also has the advantage of being slimy, yucky and totally disgusting which makes it a good stocking filler for bad kids.”

Smith says that up to one billion children are on Santa’s list this year. He estimates that 99 per cent of them will get toys from Santa. That leaves 10 million kids getting coal. At one pound per lump, that translates into a December 24 delivery of 5,000 tons of coal.

“Also, seaweed is available on a world-wide basis, so Santa can replenish his supply locally using fair-trade elf labor rather than have to transport it long distances or purchase it from multinational mega conglomerates.”

So, come on Santa, do your part.

Now all we need is a professor to sort out methane capture and power regeneration from reindeer poo, in order to power Santa’s sleigh while its zipping around the globe and Santa will truly be going green.

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